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|Thursday, February 20th, 2014|
It's been a while.
It has been a while. A while since we talked, a while since we suited together, a while since we rode together to L.A., seen sights and lived together at your place. Five years since we said goodbye at the airport. One last hug, one last call on the phone. And when I touched down back in Europe, you were not with us any more. No one there to answer the calls.
Five years are quite some time, but.. time is relative. Five years ago is also like yesterday. I see you picking Einsteins nose at the observatory, see you enjoying EF on your vacation, see you pronghorning around FC. Even today I see you sitting with me in my car whenever I'm on a longer trip.
I miss you.
To those who knew you, you were the most altrusitic careing friend imaginable. You wouldn't allow anyone around you be depressed. You helped, cared, and poked and wouldn't leave before everyone was smiling again.
You know, I still try to live by that example. To pay back the goodness that you shared so plentyful. But I don't have your secret superpower. I try to help others, I give good advice, I work at cons to make them great experiences for others.. but I step on people's, worse on friends toes by doing so. Where in heaven did you find that talent to make everybody happy ?
You seemed like the one person who, given enough time, could change the world into a better place all by your own.
Alas, enough time was not given to you.
I'm happy for the time we had, the things we did and saw. Still..
.. I miss you.
So, since you loved so much to see everything that happens positive and as a lesson, I'm asking, in your voice:
"Now, what have we learned?"
I learned that doing a good thing should not be postponed. If you can help a person, if you can settle a quarrel, if you have a chance to enjoy some time with friends or family... do it, and do it now.
...because you can not know if tommorrow that chance or that person still exist.
|Tuesday, February 18th, 2014|
Thought I'd share this cross post, to put along with the other memories and memorials. Hope no one minds the spam.
5 years ago a friend of mine, Furp, was lost. He was a positive and happy person.
I was in the midst of a dark depression at the time. Dealing with years of self esteem issues, my divorce and the loss of a long time friendship. He taught me to look at the positive. To focus on uplifting and good things. The power of being kind to others.
Every time I logged online to a furry IRC chat we hung out on he always greeted me, made me feel important and that I counted. It lead to us chatting, getting to be friends and I learned from his own upbeat and positive ways how to bring myself back from the ragged edge. Because of Furp I learned you can't just hope for positive things, you have to think that way too, even if it's hard as hell.
I have a reason for hating drunk drivers.
Furp lived more in his few years than most people do in a lifetime. He was upbeat. Saw the good in others. He was a qualified EMT and had served in Iraq savings lives and working IT. And almost everyone who knew him smiled when thinking of him.
Some people have given me a hard time before, over the fact that I forgive people quickly, that I try to see the positive side to things and people even with a lot of the evidence may say otherwise. That I always try to look for an innocent or non-intentional reason for why people may have done what they did to me or to them or friends. That's because of Furp and how I learned from him. I'd rather see and hope for the good, than be convinced everyone is an ass. It may be wrong at times, it may seem silly or blind or foolish at times, but to me, it's the better way.
So take from this what I learned from Furp. Look to the good, the positive. Be kind and show love to others. Forgive, forget and move on - both to others and more importantly to yourself. And please never drive impaired.
A recent Furp story
So this 5 year anniversary reminded me to post a recent Furp story of mine:
Even though I have moved down to San Diego, I still like taking the Twentynine Palms route to Vegas (as its more scenic and avoids most of the weekend traffic). Every time I go, I stop at Indian Cove Road and Twentynine Palms Highway (where the accident occurred) for a few moments of reflection. About a year ago, after I left the site, I got a text message from someone who I had only meet once and had exchanged numbers. The text message was an old toilet-humorish joke I had first heard from Furp. Seemed way to coordinated to be a simple coincidence, but it turned my frown upside down really fast.
Five years down the road...
It is... Amazing to me that five years have passed. In some ways it feels like several lifetimes have come and gone and in others, it feels like just the other day, I was sitting in a car with one of my closest friends, nervously practicing our eulogies for him...
Because, in my mind at this point, his life and his death are so completely different from each other that, I cannot see how they have anything to do with each other. It's funny like that... I think of Furp on random occasions and I smile, I will always think of Furp and smile. And today? Today is not the anniversary of when he stopped making us smile, but of the day when we realized, once and for all, how truly special he was and how truly precious the smiles he gave us, really were.
Thank-You Furp... We miss you deeply.
|Monday, February 17th, 2014|
5 years later
5 years to the day, how long I have missed you. I wonder if I am the same person you knew back then, so many stories to tell of time gone by - I can remember eagerly waiting to get home from work just to tell you stories of my day... Now they'd be crazier than ever, and saltier dips than many did see in a Navy.
I've sailed two oceans since I last spoke, saw a half dozen new countries, made new friends, new enemies, loved again and cried again, had my heart broken again and tried desperately to put together the pieces. Soon I'll be up for a long overdue promotion with just a little bit of luck (well if I ever find enough drive to get off my good for nothing lazy butt!)
I know not what the future holds, bright or grim; but I ever look forward to the day in the future I see you again - it shall come when it comes, willing or not.
Lots of Love
~Your little Shit,
|Friday, February 1st, 2013|
cleaning out the basement
Lynne was cleaning out the basement and found its like a luggage item for a bike. It is Furp's and if you would like it please contact her.
|Saturday, November 10th, 2012|
LJ just sent me an email saying they'd be purging my account for inactivity, so I went ahead and logged in and checked my friends list. It's still hard for me to find Furp listed there.
I assume that they spare memorial accounts. (Does anyone know for certain, though?) Current Mood: melancholy
|Thursday, July 26th, 2012|
Furp's military career
This is a question for any of you old timers that knew Furp well back in the earlier days of his time with US Military, the times when he was Navy and away at sea, if any of you can recall such times.
Do any of you know what he initially was doing with the Navy, or what sort of position he worked on ship? I know in his later years he became quite experienced as First Aid and various forms of IT including SysAdmin type stuff, as well as the myriad other things he did over in Iraq, Afghanistan, and the rest of bloodiest middle of nowhere.
I find myself through irony and twists of fate switching from Royal Canadian Air Force, to Royal Canadian Navy, having already done a myriad of odd tasks not really at all related to what I'm supposed to be doing on paper. But some idea of Furp's role on ship would be nice to know for when I go off to sea in late October.
Thank you very much to whoever all reads this.
~Furp's little shit
Drake the Sheep Current Mood: awake
|Monday, February 20th, 2012|
In memory of Furp: How To Train Your Dragon
Although Furp never saw this movie (it came out after his passing), I kept thinking of him the whole time I saw it and I think it would have been one of his favorites.
Rest in peace, Furp.
I'm glad I avoided LJ this weekend.
I knew the date and chose to ignore it. He wouldn't have wanted me to dwell. However, three years later and I'm still not ok.
Still missing you my deranged little brother.
|Monday, December 12th, 2011|
|Saturday, October 15th, 2011|
|Tuesday, March 22nd, 2011|
Emails from Pat
I was going through my mail account and trying to delete things to kind of reduce my digital footprint. During all of this, I accidentally started to delete things from our dear friend Pat. Thankful, I've recovered these.
My earliest records available go back to 2005 and there is some good solid advice and humor that was handed down. With that, here is the 1st of many things I want to share so they don't again fall into a digital wasteland.
from Furp <email@example.com>
date Wed, Oct 5, 2005 at 2:30 AM
subject [LAFF] Therians, Drama, LJ and expletive filled subjects
mailing list laff.catbox.com Filter messages from this mailing list
unsubscribe Unsubscribe from this mailing-list
hide details 10/5/05
Mmmmm. Nice tasty drama. Crunchy even when doused in milk, e-tears and sorrow!
Now to make sense of that ever so confusing topic I put up there, not neccessarily in the order posted.
And it'll even have headers! So that you can scroll to what you want to read and ignore the rest! Yeah! Rockin!
TO: Everyone who *replied* to the rant by weasel or whatever. The caps one. With swears.
First off, just to make sure that we're whipping a grease spot in the pavement, rather than the dead horse, I ask that you NOT USE CAPS OR SWEARS in the topics and entire email posts. That includes when you're replying to them. You do not need to fill my mail box with five billion and one posts that have a subject of "RE: FUCKING BITCH" and on and on. Nor do you need to quote the entire message, especially if you're trying to send a disapproving message to them regarding their conduct.
TO: Therians and anyone else who is taking a drama-rific approach towards 'I'm leaving the list, now cry out your anguish at these injustices I have suffered because you people suck, etc, drama'
As for the Therians, you can go off and have your own list for all I care. Go. Please. Now. Now I may perhaps be bitterly jaded, and quite often I am, but the few times that I have even heard or read of Therians, drama was involved. Either waaaaay back when ya'll called yourselves lifestylers, back in the mid 90's, or more recently with our young and at times misguided LAFFer by the name of Mix Master. I seem to recall a painfully long and drawn out email of 'Yes, I'm leaving. Really, I'm leaving. You all suck and I'm leaving now', etc. etc. etc. etc, well, you get the point now, I'm sure.
Just for the purpose of bringing this post away from me pissing in to the wind and more towards having an actual point to this, I'll follow up the Therian topic with this: Yes, you may have your own list. You can even mention it. But for the love of all that is holy and unholy alike, please don't make a long diatribe any time you consider leaving this list and/or creating a list of your own. Heck, for simplicities sake, just make an LJ post with your reasons, make a link, and post to the list that you're leaving and that you're making a list for (insert interest here), and your reasons are here -> (URL of your LJ rant)
Quite honestly I could care less what you do or don't like about the list, and I'm sure there are several others who share the sentiment. Either that, or I'm just a cold and heartless bastard, and you can view my hate and invective as a growing experience for your character in the coming years. A win/win situation, right?
TO: Weasel or anyone involved in the drama, whoever or whatever you are.
Speaking for myself, I could care less what your side is. I skimmed over the origional post, I skimmed over the eventual responce, I skimmed over most of the responces. As many people were bringing up, this was a drama that belonged in LJ. Here's where I repeat suggestions, due to the fact that some people probably are skimming this email even now!
Take your pent up frustrations, make yourself a good little rant. You know, the kind that if you show it at the wrong people, their retinas will spontaneously combust? Yeah. Then post it to LJ. Make it public. And if you STILL feel the urge to tell everyone about it, sum it up in a paragraph (Between six and eight sentances. Or between two and four if you use run-on sentances. And if you use horrific run-on sentances, may you get arthritis at a young age as punishment for making my grammar gland twitch that much). Then you can post that paragraph to the list if you really really really want to. And if you still are thinking "Oh noez! I need to say more than that! I need to spew forth the guts of this horrific drama to everyone!", then include a URL to the appropriate LJ entries. But PLEASE, for the love of the gods and demi-gods, do NOT re-post the entire damn thing to the list.
Hmm... How do I put the horribleness of this in words that you people may understand. You're killing your future chances of spending intimate time with others of your prefered gender! Think of the horribleness of that!
Meh... I tried.
TO: Those damn aliens who are controlling my brain
Get out! I told you to get out of that cookie jar! Bad snoogie-woogie! Bad! Do I have to get out the rolled up newspaper now?! Out!
|Friday, February 18th, 2011|
We miss you tons, furp. Current Mood: melancholy
I miss ya buddy
Giza gave this picture to me earlier this year, I had forgotten it was even taken. Thought I'd share it.
I miss you buddy, thanks for the good times. I shall raise my glass in honor of you today. Current Mood: sad
Its hard to believe that its been 2 years since you left. But, gawd, how yer still with us.
I was taken ill last month, and all I could do was think how you'd tell people to chew a Tylenol. Heh..I quickly took every other drug in the house in liquid form so I wouldn't have to ;)
Thanks, Furp. Current Mood: melancholy
Take a minute right now...
and call/text/tell someone you care about.
Let them know just how much they mean to you. Current Mood: grateful
Yesterday I was thinking about you Furp and how much of a great person you were with the helping hands that you have helped many at cons when people became ill and helping motorists on the side of the road and such. I know i didn't get to know you very long yet you are thought of and never forgotten.I still remember the times I saw you on Anthrochat yet I didn't save the conversations and I think I only spoke with you a few times in a private chat.
You were a great person and will never ever be forgotten!
Let this memory live to be one of the greatest examples of life by helping many out there just like Furp did!
In memorium of two years that have passed since that tragic day.
We all still miss you Furp, you will *never* be forgotten, and always in our hearts. :)
|Monday, November 8th, 2010|
to was Furp's birthday and he may be going I will still try to remember it.